Cypress Counseling Group

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Making The Right 2021 Goals After a Chaotic Year

Have you seen the Match.com dating commercial where Satan gets matched with his perfect match… a beautiful woman named “2-0-2-0”? It’s hilarious, and ends with the devil and his new love wishing this year wouldn’t end.

And though these two love birds don’t want it to end… we certainly do! But how can you even think of creating New Years goals when this year has been so uncertain and chaotic?

Well, this year more than ever, my clients are noticing the jobs they thought were “just fine” and “paid the bills” aren’t worth the pain. Bad bosses and toxic work environments just aren’t worth it anymore.

This year, a lot of my clients realized their relationship really needed some work. Their “two ships passing in the night” set up became “two titanic's sinking and everyone’s going down.” They realized they really needed to step up their communication game.

And I don’t know about you, but I saw everyone’s health goals move from “I want to lose ___lbs” to “I just don’t want to catch an unpredictable virus trying to find toilet paper.”

So, did the goals you had in January 2020 change throughout the past year? Mine definitely did.

“This past year has been really enlightening for me. It forced me to shed the things that kept me stuck, revealed the crutches I leaned on, and shined a light on a lot of my blindspots. It’s given me a clearer vision of what really matters, what I really want in my life.”

How about you? What are the things you are realizing you can’t keep sweeping under the rug? What are the things you are realizing you need to fight for in 2021?

Counseling can help you find the emotional and relational tools you need to start making practical changes in your marriage, your job, with your kids, and with your health.

But, to start on your own, here’s a small journal reflection prompt I want to offer you as you think of your 2021 goals.

1. What are the things you are learning that are really important in your life?

It may be the quality time of a few, close friendships, rather than the quantity of social gatherings you couldn’t attend anymore.

It may be focusing on boosting your nutrition and increasing the frequency of at-home family dinners, rather than focusing on a “goal weight”.

Or it may be finding new, fun activities (like walking outside or playing “Just Dance” with your kids) instead of getting to the gym.

2. What are the things you want to make sure you continue adding to your daily routine, weekly routine, or monthly routine?

It may be scheduling an at-home date night with your spouse without kids (whether you increase the screen time and do a puzzle in the garage, or you do a kid-swap with the neighbors).

It may be finding a new morning ritual or work-day flow now that you have been forced to manage your time differently this year.

3. What is something you want to decrease this next year?

It may be the amount of alcohol, or food, or Netflix you used to cope with the uncertainty of this year.

It may be reducing the amount of news or social media intake you’ve had access to, that didn’t really do you much good anyway.

So, what are the NEW goals you want to make for your life in 2021? As that commercial said, may it be your year! But, let’s all hold it with an open hand, shall we? Anything can happen, so let’s have open eyes to see what’s really important, no matter the circumstances may bring.

Carly Samudre, MA, LPC-MHSP